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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26602825">The Carrie and Lowell Project</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnnyMueller/pseuds/JohnnyMueller'>JohnnyMueller</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Love Live! School Idol Project, Love Live! Sunshine!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Child Abuse, Childhood Memories, Children of Characters, Cocaine, Crying, Drabbles, Fireworks, Hiking, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Inspired by Sufjan Stevens, Letters, Long-Distance Relationship, Loss of Parent(s), Moving, Moving On, Multi, POV Alternating, POV First Person, POV Third Person, Polyamory, Post-Break Up, Psychological Trauma, Sex Addiction, Suicide Attempt, Tanabata, Terminal Illnesses, Wakes &amp; Funerals, Widowed, praying</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 09:34:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,726</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26602825</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnnyMueller/pseuds/JohnnyMueller</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of Love Live stories, inspired by songs from Sufjan Stevens' album Carrie &amp; Lowell.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ayase Eli/Koizumi Hanayo, Ayase Eli/Toujou Nozomi, Kousaka Honoka &amp; Minami Kotori &amp; Sonoda Umi, Kurosawa Dia/Matsuura Kanan/Ohara Mari, Kurosawa Dia/Ohara Mari, Minami Kotori/Sonoda Umi, Nishikino Maki/Yazawa Nico, Sakurauchi Riko/Takami Chika, Sakurauchi Riko/Takami Chika/Watanabe You, Sakurauchi Riko/Tsushima Yoshiko, Sakurauchi Riko/Watanabe You</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Death with Dignity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The mare galloped through the forest, snaping twigs and leaves beneath its feet. It and its rider had no immediate worries as it went for its stroll. It was at the twilight of fall; the local bears would be hibernating and its rider’s rifle would scare away any other animals. It couldn’t scare away the past, though.</p><p>You got her horse to stop as she looked around her. Ever since they first came here, she believed that Hokkaido was the most beautiful place on Earth. She’d walked around the gorges looking over the Grand Canyon, climbed K2, and ventured through the Amazon, yet there was nothing like this.</p><p>“It’s because we were here, weren’t we?” Chika’s shade looked at her from her own steed, colored a red-orange, just like her wife’s hair.</p><p>“Yeah… Yeah, it was.” The shade was gone, but only from the environment. It had been haunting her heart for the past 9 years.</p><p>They all knew the dangers of being in such a rural environment, the possibility of animal attacks, flash floods, and landslides. They never thought it would happen to them.</p><p>It took three days to recover Chika and Riko’s bodies from the rubble, but to You, it was an eternity. A lifetime of waiting for a bad answer.</p><p>“Yes, but you knew us.” Riko was waiting for her as she got off her horse (with some difficulty; she was approaching 60) and guided him to his pen. “Every day since high school, since Aqours, you were there for us and we’ll always be glad for that.”</p><p>You turned around, her eyes red and hazy. She looked up to the trees around her, the silent guardians of her family. With no eyes, they watched the three women become adults, raise their children, share their love, take care of that which gave them life. Now, this forest felt haunting. It was a grave that You had already buried herself in.</p><p>“I wish I could believe that.” You walked past the misty apparition, trying to take the tears from her eyes before they shed.</p><p>You slowly opened the cabin door and took off her gloves. She walked into their bedroom and laid down her body. She felt the strain of the ride reaching her now: her muscles ached, her knees swelled, and her breath quickened. She laid back into her bed, wondering if it could just sink her down into the earth, becoming lichen growing all around.</p><p>Her revere was interrupted by her phone going off. You raised herself and answered the call.</p><p>“Hello?”</p><p>“Hey, mom, it’s Saya. How are you doing today?”</p><p>A small smile came to You’s face. Saya sometimes seemed more sensible than her moms, always with good advice for anyone around her. <em>It’s been a while since I’ve seen her, though.</em></p><p>“I’m… I’m doing fine. And yourself?”</p><p>“Good, although Hinata has been keeping me busy. She’s my third, but I always forget how rowdy they get when they’re getting to that age.”</p><p>“Hey, you and your sister weren’t that different either.” You giggled a little, scratching the back of her head. She took joy in hearing her daughter respond likewise.</p><p>“Anyway, I was calling to see if you wanted to visit us. Summer break is coming up, so you could play with all the kids.”</p><p>You tried to hide her sigh. She had wanted to visit her kids and grandkids for so long, to hug them and hold them, to never let them go as long as they lived, but every time she thought of their faces, she was reminded of them, the ones who bore her children, the ones who kept her bed warm every night, the one who were standing in the doorway of the bedroom. Riko softly nodded and smiled, while Chika made a thumbs-up, mouthing ‘go for it.’</p><p>The tears finally fell from You’s face as she answered “I’d like to do that a lot.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you want me to write a fic for you, you can put in a request <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/JohnnyMuellersPromptCollection">right here</a>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Should Have Known Better</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dia and Kanan have always been my mothers since I was growing up. Ever since I was born, they were always there for me. They healed my wounds, taught me lessons, had my back at every moment of my life. In every sense of the word, they cared for me.</p><p>Mari… She is my mother, yes, and she taught me lessons that Dia or Kanan couldn’t, but I’d never been able to fully call her mother. She left when I was 6, after one too many arguments with Dia. It’s hard to believe that two people could love each other when they act like that, but I know they did. They just couldn’t be with each other for too long.</p><p>She wasn’t completely out of my life, though. She would occasionally visit Japan when business allowed her to stop by and part of every summer was spent at her family’s villa on the Tuscan coast. Only Kanan came those times, though; Dia always found an excuse to stay away.</p><p>I know how awful this sounds, but I was glad she didn’t; I didn’t want to harm anyone with allowing them to have another round of arguments. But at the same time, I thought it was disheartening to see Dia unable to come with the child she loved. I unfairly put some of the blame on Mari, mainly because I wasn’t with her as much as I was with Dia. I never said anything, but she knew; she saw it in my eyes, and I saw it in hers.</p><p>I was 20 when Mari was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, 22 when she found out it had metastasized to the rest of her body. She had always treated her illness with a laugh and a smile, but we all knew how much it was hurting her, to have her own body betray her. It was at that time that I realized how much I had lost by not spending time with her. How much did I hurt all of my mothers by ignoring one of them?</p><p>The last time I saw her was two weeks before she died at her villa. <em>I don’t want to perish in some drab hospital; I want to die in a place </em>con grande bellezza, she told us. I was sitting by her bed, holding her hand. An IV drip full of morphine was attached to her arm, the only thing on her besides a thin slip. Mari was asleep, her blonde hair shining in the afternoon sun. I combed her hair through my hand, the same way she did to me as a child.</p><p>“I’m sorry, mama… that I didn’t love you enough…”</p><p>Mari’s lips pursed for a moment before she opened up her brilliant, loving blue eyes. She looked up at me before a weak, satisfied smile came to her face. “Hey, sweetie, don’t be looking at your mommy like that; you’re gonna make me feel bad.”</p><p>I tried to keep my composure, but I’m sure I gave her a weird look. “I love you.” It was so soft that I thought it was captured by the waves until I noticed Mari raise herself up with an effort. She put her hand on my cheek and kissed me on the nose.</p><p>“I’ll always love you, my shiny <em>angela</em>.”</p><p>That was too much; I couldn’t handle it any longer. “I’m, uh, I’m going to go for a walk.” Mari nodded and watched my back as I left the room. Dia and Kanan were standing there, looking at me with knowing eyes. I collapsed into their arms, crying my sins out. “It’s not fair… it’s not fair…"</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you want me to write a fic for you, you can put in a request <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/JohnnyMuellersPromptCollection">right here</a>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. All of Me Wants All of You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kotori took a moment to catch her breath and lean against a tree. The only sounds around her were the twittering of birds and the soft howl of the wind going through the trees. Even with the exhaustion of her hike catching up to her, Kotori couldn’t help but smiling at the beauty around her. <em>If only I could share it with her.</em></p>
<p>Kotori made a frown as she continued on her hike. She had taken time off work so that she could have time for herself out in the loneliness of nature, but she still couldn’t take her mind off of the city. It wasn’t her work or her family that were plaguing her thoughts; it was <em>her</em>.</p>
<p><em>No, not like that; Umi-chan isn’t just a </em>her. Umi meant so much to her, ever since they were children. She was the shelter from the storm, the rock in the midst of a raging ocean. She was the person she could trust more than anyone else, the woman she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.</p>
<p>And they just drifted apart. It wasn’t one thing in particular that made them go their separate ways, just a realization that they weren’t as made for each other as they had thought.</p>
<p><em>But… should we really fade apart just like that?</em> They had talked since Kotori moved out, sure, but there was an increasing dissolution beyond the break up of a romantic relationship to it affecting their friendship. Even with all of the ambivalence Kotori held to their love, she only had good thoughts and memories about one of her best friends in the world.</p>
<p>Taking another moment to stop on the trail, she took out her phone and began texting.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Umi let out a sigh that she’d never do in the world (Honoka would never stop teasing her) as she laid down on the blanket she had placed on the grass. The afternoon sun had dried out the dew, so Umi wasn’t worried about getting damp. She laid out her lunch and began eating her sandwich, taking in small bites as she looked at the world around her.</p>
<p>She was one of her favorite trails in Japan, a fairly steep hike about 15 miles from Mount Fiji. If she looked carefully enough, she could see its white peaks poking out from the tree cover.</p>
<p><em>I just wish I wasn’t alone.</em> Umi let out another sigh as she continued eating. What happened to Kotori was something no person deserved, to be in a relationship with someone who realized they didn’t fully love them before the other person did. Kotori was one of her best friends in the whole world and she hurt her heart.</p>
<p><em>Is there anything I can do to earn her forgiveness?</em> Umi laid back and looked up at the slowly-moving clouds above her. <em>Is that something I even have the right to?</em></p>
<p>Her phone buzzing broke her out of her haze. She looked to see she had one new message.</p>
<p>
  <em>KOTORI: When we have time, would you like to get some coffee?</em>
</p>
<p>Umi bit her lip as she stared at her phone for what seemed like an eternity. <em>Is this my chance, or do I let it be?</em></p>
<p>After several minutes (most of which the phone was dark due to inactivity), her fingers typed out a hesitant reply.</p>
<p>
  <em>I’d love to.</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you want me to write a fic for you, you can put in a request <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/JohnnyMuellersPromptCollection">right here</a>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Drawn to the Blood</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Maki Nishikino followed the old traditions – clapping her hands, bowing, and clapping once more – before looking up.</p>
<p>“It’s been a long time since I’ve spoken to you. Honestly, I don’t go to shrines that often, and when I do, I don’t take the time to pray. Maybe I should have.</p>
<p>“I lost my first patient two days ago. It happens to every resident, they said, and I knew that, but still… It was a minor operation, just fixing a broken elbow. But the patient had a bad reaction to the anesthesia and they didn’t wake up. It’s one thing to feel your body dying as it happens, but to be put to sleep, thinking that you’ll be healed when you wake up…</p>
<p>“It’s not like that is helping anything with me and Nico… we’re not screaming or fighting, but we’re not on the best of terms. Our jobs are keeping us so busy – I’m spending long nights at the hospital, Nico is on the road a lot. The time we are spending with each other is silent. I don’t know her anymore, and I don’t think she knows me.</p>
<p>“I want to ask this: If this isn’t fated to happen, if we can change it, then what can I do? And if this is our fate… What kind of fucked up cruel gods are you to let this happen? You gave us the happiest moments of our lives, and now we’re at our worst… I don’t know if I can believe in myself anyway.”</p>
<p>Maki Nishikino turned away from the shrine and walked down the lonely steps.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you want me to write a fic for you, you can put in a request <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/JohnnyMuellersPromptCollection">right here</a>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Eugene</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>Riko,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I hope this letter comes as a surprise to you. I know I haven’t talked to you that much since I moved, but it wasn’t because I didn’t want to. I was just trying to find the right words.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Alaska has been… well, it’s a lot. It’s only summer, but it already feels like fall; I can’t even imagine winter right now. It’s been hard getting to sleep; because of where we are compared to the rest of the Earth, it’s daylight for about 19 hours. I’ve been getting better at it, but it’s still a lot.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I’m glad we got to move to a town like Anchorage, though. Even though it feels as remote as Numazu at times, there’s way more people living here and more to do. It’s not that rare to see a moose while walking in the city or a goat when you’re on the highway. It’s the perfect mixture to live in: developed and distant.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It’s also nice that Daddy has a really good job here. He’s making so much more money compared to back home. He’ll be gone most of the year, though, but Mom and I don’t have to worry as much. I’ve made some friends here to keep me company; there’s not too many Japanese people living here, but the neighborhood I’m living in has a strong Asian and Aleut community (Aleuts are like the Ainu of this area). It’s a good thing we moved in summer; school here doesn’t start until August, so I have time to get ready.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>There’s this park I’ve been to a few times, Kincaid Park, that feels like a place where humanity never touched the Earth. It’s full of beauty and nature and it’s just… I don’t know how exactly to finish that sentence other than to say I hope you enjoy it when you get here. I probably shouldn’t tell you this, but our parents are planning for you to come over sometime this winter. “Young people in love shouldn’t be kept apart,” my mom said.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>I love you, Riko. I may be an ocean apart from you, but I’ll never stop loving you. As I remember the beauty of where we used to live, I want to share the beauty of my new home with you.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Love,</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You Watanabe</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you want me to write a fic for you, you can put in a request <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/JohnnyMuellersPromptCollection">right here</a>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Fourth of July</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It wasn’t supposed to be like this. She was only 30, yet she was already burying her mother.</p>
<p>Kotori took a deep breath, shaky as it was, as she watched the mourners move forward to the shrine that had been set up for her mother’s funeral. They chose a good picture for her; it was around the time Muse had been formed. Her mother was standing in front of Otonokizaka, with a grace and beauty that Kotori had only just felt comfortable in presenting.</p>
<p>Everyone came by and offered their condolences, but it didn’t mean to Kotori, not when she wasn’t there to say goodbye to her mother. <em>A heart attack, while working…</em> She moved her mind away from such images; they wouldn’t do well for her. <em>I have to get out.</em></p>
<p>She exited with a large exhale, hating the sweat that was clinging to her suit. She looked up at the clear summer sky, at all of the stars and lights surrounding her. <em>Why couldn’t she see this just one more time?</em></p>
<p>The sky was interrupted by flashes of colors under it: greens and blues, oranges and reds. Fireworks bloomed in the sky, shining for a moment, only to fade away at the next.</p>
<p><em>Tanabata… The Tanabata display is tonight. I was supposed to see it with Mother.</em> She was sent back for a moment, to when she was still a small child (as she ever felt), her mother holding her hand as they looked up at similar fireworks.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Mama, will you always be here?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’ll always watch the fireworks with you, my little bird. I promise.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Kotori?” She looked back at Honoka and Umi with watery eyes, the tears she’d been holding in finally exposed, before collapsing to the ground. She was instantly surrounded by a warmth that she didn’t deserve, that wasn’t correct or right.</p>
<p>“Mama… you lied…”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you want me to write a fic for you, you can put in a request <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/JohnnyMuellersPromptCollection">right here</a>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. The Only Thing</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The grass was surprisingly warm that day, despite winter approaching in the coming weeks. Yoshiko tried to enjoy the feeling, but that wasn’t possible for her. She stretched her body out around the ground, thinning her presence against the earth.</p>
<p>She hadn’t been in the accident, but she could imagine the pain her Riri felt as the metal and glass slashed her to pieces, to be embarrassed as the emergency workers saw part of her chest as they took her corpse out of the wreckage, to be taken away from the only woman who loved her.</p>
<p>Yoshiko let out a shuddering breath as she took the pill bottle out of her pocket. She got the anti-depressants from a streaming friend of hers. They’d take the pain alright, but for good. Nothing would fill the hole in her heart that Riri left behind: the lonely bed, the endless nights, the constant feeling that the best of her life was already over.</p>
<p>She looked over at the flower beds (<em>one last look before I go</em>) and saw a family. A young girl had her hands between two women, only a little older than her, who were looking at each other with fond gazes. They stopped in front of a bed of lilies.</p>
<p>
  <em>the lilies… the lilies look beautiful today, don’t they, Yoshiko?” Riko has her arms tightly wrapped around Yoshiko’s.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Not as beautiful as you, my love.” Yoshiko leaned to kiss Riko’s forehead and comb back her hair.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Riko let out that delightful giggle of hers. “You’re so kind, Yoshiko. I want to be with you always, until we’re both… feeding these flowers.” Riko gave Yoshiko a kiss on the cheek. “Promise me that.”</em>
</p>
<p><em>Riri…</em> Yoshiko flipped the bottle a few times before putting it back into her pocket and slowly standing up. <em>I don’t know how long I’ll be here until I’m with you, but I’ll make the most of it. That’s my promise.</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you want me to write a fic for you, you can put in a request <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/JohnnyMuellersPromptCollection">right here</a>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Carrie and Lowell</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>My people have known these woods for ages, conquered them centuries ago. We can tell you the flow of every river, the range of ever plant and animal, the best times to hunt and the best times to harvest. We treat every inch of this place as extensions of ourselves, yet it is standing in front of my own home, deep in the woods, that petrifies me the most.</p>
<p>“Elicchi…” Nozomi lays her hand on my shoulder, her witch’s hat placing part of her face in shadow. “You don’t have to do this; you can just leave.”</p>
<p>“What kind of elf would I be if I didn’t do this?” I look back at her with a wavering smile on her face that makes her give me a supportive kiss on the cheek. I walk forward into the house; even though no one is inside, the door is unlocked. We enter silently, looking at the simple yet elegant dining room. I smell the memories of soups and drinks that float within her.</p>
<p>“It’s a beautiful house, Elicchi.”</p>
<p>“It is… sometimes.” I continue to move forward into the house, Nozomi right behind me, making sure nothing strikes us.</p>
<p>My first destination is the training room. I prepare myself for the smell, but the taint of blood and sweat still permeates this room. I look to one particular spot on the floor, <em>where a young girl once fell.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>“Get up, child. You know what happens to those who fall, don’t you?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>She knew, but her body also knew that it could fight no longer tell.</em>
</p>
<p><em>“Just know: You brought this upon yourself.” The blunt edge of a sword found its mark several times. She knew where the bruises would land and how to best treat them the days after</em>, because I’ve suffered them before.</p>
<p>From a chest in the corner, I take several swords and place them into a bag on my back.</p>
<p>My next location is deeper within the house. I look back at Nozomi, slightly bothered by her silence. “Are you OK?”</p>
<p>She just smiles and presses herself close to her. “I’m here if you need me, Elicchi.” Her support does more than she anticipated, letting me smile freely for once.</p>
<p>I enter what was once and is the room of me and my siblings. I gaze towards my bed, <em>where a young girl was being fed soap by her mother.</em></p>
<p>
  <em>“We only do this because we want to make sure you’re strong and healthy.” The girl would believe her more if she could speak through her bruises. Yet she recognized some of her mother’s love as she slowly slurped the soup.</em>
</p>
<p>“How much love can someone really show through that?”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” I look back at Nozomi, probably with a slightly wide-eyed expression on my face.</p>
<p>“Nothing really.” I reach underneath my bed to get the other item, my copy of our holy book. I may not care about the family anymore, but I still hold onto our faith.</p>
<p>As Nozomi and I leave the house, I turn around and give it one final look. “goodbye.” With that, the two of us set off, hands entwined, our path uncertain, our love binding.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you want me to write a fic for you, you can put in a request <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/JohnnyMuellersPromptCollection">right here</a>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. John My Beloved</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hanayo groaned as she kneeled down and placed the flower next to the grave. Even at her age, she’d done it enough times that the movements felt natural to her. She placed herself into the seat that she’d brought with her.</p>
<p>“It’s been… 15 years now, Eli. God, I can’t believe it’s been that long since we’ve been apart. It only feels like yesterday that you were… still with me.</p>
<p>“Kyouko couldn’t make it today; she’s busy with a case. She picked out a flower for you, though. The white rose there is from her, the one she would always get you on Mother’s Day. Jun is playing a big soccer game today; if he does well enough, he might get into the World Cup next year. He gives his love to you.</p>
<p>“There’s something that’s been on my mind lately that I feel I should tell you. I was never the kind to be harsh in our marriage, but I don’t feel this is being harsh. From the first time we met, I was enraptured by you. You were so beautiful and strong and confident that I couldn’t imagine someone like you being in love with someone like me. But you were, and then before I knew it, we were married and raising kids and I devoted myself to you. Every moment I was awake was to making sure you were the best person you could be.</p>
<p>“But I think, by doing that, I was unfair to both of you. I didn’t notice all the times that you needed help or support, all the times you were doubting yourself, because I didn’t think you were capable of that. And all the things I wanted to do in my life for myself were put aside because I thought it was better to support you. How much more could we have known about each other, about ourselves, if I didn’t put you on a pedestal?</p>
<p>“I don’t regret falling in love with you, though. Every day I spent with you, good times and bad, were the happiest days of my life. Through every bump and jump, we were there for each other and I don’t think most couples can say that. I enjoyed being with you, Eli, and I hope, in the next life, we can find each other again.”</p>
<p>Hanayo kneeled down and kissed the cross. “I love you, Eli.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you want me to write a fic for you, you can put in a request <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/JohnnyMuellersPromptCollection">right here</a>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. No Shade in the Shadow of the Cross</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dia moaned as she snorted another line with a 1000 yen bill. It felt like every synapse of her brain was firing off as the cocaine entered her nose. She ignored the blood trickling down her face as she patted herself down and exited the stall.</p>
<p>“Hey, Kurosawa.” Marina was there, similarly trying to wipe any leftover powder from her face. “You get done with that construction deal yet?”</p>
<p>“Almost. Some yakuza assholes are making a big fuss, but we’ll find enough money to shut them up.”</p>
<p>“Good. You’ve been looking down recently, maybe you should go to Okinawa, find a nice girl to finger bang you.”</p>
<p>Dia let out a coarse laugh. “Maybe.” She watched Marina exit the bathroom, letting whatever city pop trash was playing in the club filter in before becoming mute again.</p>
<p>Dia sighed and looked at the mirror. She looked like shit; her hair was too long and wild, her eyes were bloodshot, and her wardrobe felt too gaudy. She hadn’t felt the need to buy new clothes since her breakup with Mari, spending most of her money on coke.</p>
<p>
  <em>That fucking whore. She knew I could get riled up and jealous at a moment’s notice, so she’d flirt with any girl available. I spend all this time making money for her to just act like I don’t matter.</em>
</p>
<p>She stared at the necklace she was wearing, with a heart in the middle. <em>Maybe I should give this back to her.</em> Dia thought it over for a moment before going back into the stall to get another line ready.</p>
<p>-</p>
<p>Mari moaned as she felt the cum ooze out her cunt. <em>That last guy fucks real hard, doesn’t he?</em> Mari didn’t mind, though; that was the only way for her to feel sex anymore: hard and rough.</p>
<p>She took a moment to catch her breath again as she stared at her glory hole. Her work as a porn actress made the most money, but she liked to spend some time just focusing on what mattered the most: getting off. Whether by cocks, fingers, or strap-ons, any appendage was a good one.</p>
<p><em>Dia’s was the best, though… Stuck-up bitch always ignored me, though.</em> Mari sighed as she licked at her cum-soaked fingers. <em>She loved me, yeah, but she couldn’t be bothered to show it or work on it.</em></p>
<p>Mari looked at her body. Her tits was still large and bouncy and her cunt was just as plump as ever, but she’d gained some weight in her belly. <em>Maybe I could call Dia for some workout ideas.</em></p>
<p>Just at that moment, another cock popped in her hole and she decided to ignore that idea all together.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you want me to write a fic for you, you can put in a request <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/JohnnyMuellersPromptCollection">right here</a>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Blue Bucket of Gold</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She set foot onto the beach during the end of twilight. The last stars of the evening shimmered and twinkled as she walked forward.</p>
<p>She knew that she wouldn’t be chosen by her friend, that the pianist had her heart instead. With each move that she made – a compliment, a kiss, a confession – her heart lost a little piece of itself. It wasn’t shattered, but it was still wounded and healing.</p>
<p>This was nobody’s fault, not even her own. Even still, she couldn’t help but feel weighed down by the guilt, like the ocean of the world was swallowing her whole. Only the feeling of sand between her toes kept her grounded.</p>
<p>She heard a noise coming from the ocean. Wanting a better vantage point, she climbed up an abandoned lifeguard post (noting any places where wood might break) and looked out.</p>
<p>A pod of whales was floating by, around 10 of them by her count. Spouts of water popped up every so often, and for a moment, she could’ve sworn that one of them looked straight at her with their giant, beautiful eye.</p>
<p>
  <em>Whales mate for life, right? Maybe my own mate is out there, waiting for me until the moment our paths cross.</em>
</p>
<p>You Watanabe let a smile come to her face as she stared out towards the horizon of the sea, watching kindred spirits pass by.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>If you want me to write a fic for you, you can put in a request <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/collections/JohnnyMuellersPromptCollection">right here</a>.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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